Tag Archives: Ceremony

The Ceremony: Pure joy

I remember hearing the congregation stand and the processional music begin. I took a deep breath, the doors swung open, and my heart jumped up into my throat as I saw JP. Then we started to walk.

“Slow down, we’ll get there,” my father calmly said. In my adrenaline rush, I had started off too quickly. I closed my eyes, smiled, and realized what was happening.

Everything around me seemed to disappear. It felt as if the only ones that existed at that moment were my father at my side and my groom in front of me.

We reached the marble steps. JP stood to my father’s right, and Quincy began.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the presence of these witnesses, to join together Lauren and Jean-Pierre in holy matrimony, which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, and signifying unto us the mystical union that exists between Christ and His Church: which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence in Cana of Galilee. It is therefore not to be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate Lauren and Jean-Pierre come now to be joined.

I felt my father, my rock through everything, begin to choke back tears. I put my head on his shoulder, grabbed his hand and squeezed. He squeezed back, caught his breath, and we continued.

I require and charge you both, as you stand in the presence of God, before whom the secrets of all hearts are disclosed, that, having duly considered the holy covenant you are about to make, you do now declare before this company your pledge of faith, each to the other. Be well assured that if these solemn vows are kept intact, as God’s Word demands, and if steadfastly you endeavor to do the will of your heavenly Father, God will bless your marriage, will grant you fulfillment in it, and will establish your home in peace.

Will you have Lauren to be your wedded wife, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others keep only to her so long as you both shall live?

“I will,” he said, strongly and surely. I held my breath– I was up next.

Will you have Jean-Pierre to be your wedded husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others keep only to him so long as you both shall live?

“I will.” I was surprised at how clear my voice rang out. I sounded strong, assured, confident, and present– just as I was at that moment.

Who presents this woman to be married to this man?

“Her mother and I do.” I squeezed my father’s hand once more, as I knew I was about to let go. He lifted my veil…

..and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek.

Then, after lowering the veil, he placed my hand into JP’s, and stepped back. Quincy led the two of us up the stairs, and suddenly my world became even more private and intimate than it had been before. This was something special and sacred, and we were surrounded and embraced by love. An otherworldly feeling washed over us both, and I squeezed his hands.

“I, Jean-Pierre, take you, Lauren, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinances; I pledge you my faith.”

“I, Lauren, take you, Jean-Pierre, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinances; I pledge you my faith.” I said each word, each statement, with purpose. The entire time I thought about what I was saying, and again, I absorbed it all.

Quincy took our rings from Laura and Joe.

The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace, signifying to all the uniting of this man and woman in holy matrimony, through the Church of Jesus Christ our Lord.

Bless, O Lord, the giving of these rings that they who wear them may abide in thy peace, and continue in thy favor, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

“In token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love, with this ring I thee wed, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

We both exchanged rings, said these words, and then Quincy declared us husband and wife.

Forasmuch as Lauren and Jean-Pierre have consented together in holy wedlock, and witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have pledged their faith each to the other, and have declared the same by joining hands and giving and receiving rings; I pronounce that they are husband and wife together, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Amen.

We stood there, the newly declared husband and wife, squeezed hands more tightly than hands probably should be squeezed, and beamed at each other. Tom, my trainer, friend, and confidant, stepped up to do our reading.

i love you much(most beautiful darling)

more than anyone on the earth and i
like you better than everything in the sky

-sunlight and singing welcome your coming

although winter may be everywhere
with such a silence and such a darkness
noone can quite begin to guess

(except my life)the true time of year-

and if what calls itself a world should have
the luck to hear such singing(or glimpse such
sunlight as will leap higher than high
through gayer than gayest someone’s heart at your each

nearness)everyone certainly would(my
most beautiful darling)believe in nothing but love

He did a beautiful job.

It was then time for us to light the unity candle. The music started, and we stepped towards the candles. I was a bit quick on the draw, and almost lit the candle by myself. Thankfully I waited, and we successfully lit the candle together and returned the tapers to their holders.

A word of advice to those using a unity candle: Make sure you get slow-melting or low-drip tapers. We hadn’t prepared for that, and both of us ended up getting hot wax all over our hands. This, however, led to one of the funniest moments of the day for us. As we knelt down and waited for the musicians to finish playing, Quincy told us we did a good job. We both pointed to the wax on our hands.

He whispered. “Aren’t you supposed to save that for the wedding night?” I had to hold in the giggles with everything I had in me. Touché, Quincy, touché.

The song ended, he blessed us and our marriage, and then led the congregation in the Lord’s Prayer.

We stood. I felt as if I were going to burst with happiness.

God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord graciously with his favor look upon you, and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and love that you may so live together in this life that in the world to come you may have life everlasting.

It is my honor to present to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Jean-Pierre de la Croix. You may kiss your bride.

We frantically flipped up my blusher.

And he kissed me.

Boy, did he ever. There was a huge swell of laughter, hoots, hollers, and whistles.

There was a collective “aww” as our recessional began. We had a singer and guitarist come in especially for it– All I Want Is You.

JP reached up to give me a high-five…

…and I successfully didn’t leave him hanging.

Just like that, it was all over, and we were beside ourselves with joy.

Our ceremony was so incredibly special and so incredibly perfect. It was warm and loving, not at all sterile and intimidating as some may seem. Just magical.

As a last hurrah for our ceremony, I’m including the wonderful footage from Mr. Odom. Even though I made it through the ceremony without a single tear, I can’t help but watch this and have my eyes well up and a smile spread across my face. Please watch it, and hopefully you’ll know what I mean.

Just pure joy.

*All photographs from Matt Miller of Our Labor of Love. Video by Matt Odom of Rock and Roll Hearts.

Need to do some catching up in the recap department?

The Ceremony: Before the walk

For our six o’clock wedding, we had to get to the church ridiculously early. The church ladies wanted us there no later than 4:30, and I was supposed to walk down the aisle at precisely six on the dot, come hell or high water. We arrived at the church right at 4:30 during the beginnings of the massive thunderstorm. Boys and girls were segregated in different parts of the church– the girls and I in the bridal suite, JP’s groomsmen in the narthex, and JP, his best man, and Quincy, our reverend/officiant, in the preacher’s office. And we waited.

While JP had some lovely pictures of the bouts taken, I nervously clamped my ink-stained hands downstairs. Oh yeah, and then I decided I was going to burst if I didn’t use the restroom soon. I know a lot of brides go DEFCON 3 over the whole bathroom-while-dress-clad thing, but I decided long before the wedding how I was going to do it. My plan was just to take the dang thing off, hang it up, grab a sheet for a little hippie toga, and go to the bathroom. The closest restroom to the bridal suite was a public one (good planning, church!), and there was no way I was going to drag my train through that. (A field and dirt? Sure. But bathroom? Just couldn’t do it.)

After I had my little restroom party with Laura laughing like crazy outside, I was plunked down to eat a protein bar and drink some water. Then I sat around and paced in my sheet for an hour. During that time, Mom came down and told us the awful tale of how there was a colossal storm going on outside. They had had to play emergency take-everything-back-inside-the-house-so-it-doesn’t-get-destroyed back home, and she was dressed, but a bit frazzled. For some reason, none of this fazed me, but I guess I was just in my  happy zen-bride place. In my toga. Actually, that whole sheet-toga thing was really a great idea in retrospect. It kept my dress from getting even more wrinkled, it let me cool off, and it was comfy and relaxing. If you have a big gap between portraits and the ceremony and you’re in a position to have a quick-change, I highly recommend it.

It came to be time to put on the veil. This was a large task, and somehow, no matter how many billions of bobby pins we put in my hair, it always just slid out. Having your hair down + having fine hair + veil = easy situation. Thankfully, photog Reagan came to the rescue with a magical little twisty hidden hair trick in the back, and we got the veil to stay on.

Upstairs, the musicians were playing as guests began arriving.

The pews were all decked out with our sticks, billy buttons, and twine. I really love what our florist did with all of our arrangements. We didn’t want too much going on decorations-wise at the church because it already was such a grand space.

Programs in use! All of that hard work nailing and sewing was put to good use.

We all lined up, and I was still tucked away at the base of the staircase. I so clearly remember these moments, and looking back on it all is so surreal.

I remember the moment I heard the sounds of Passacaglia trickle down the stairs, and I knew it was time for the parents to start walking.

I imagined my parents carrying the flame, trying not to let the flame go out before they got to the unity candle. Laura reached down and grabbed my hand, and I bit the inside of my mouth to stop the tears from welling in my eyes.

My father walked back down the aisle. He had another lady waiting at the base of the stairs to escort.

With Passacaglia still playing, the bridal party made their way up the aisle, boys and girls alternating.

Then, just as the song was ending, my father and I reached the top of the stairs and entrance to the narthex. The church ladies closed the doors to the sanctuary, and as my father and I readied ourselves behind them, Quincy asked the congregation to stand.

It was time.

*All photographs from Matt Miller of Our Labor of Love.

Need to do some catching up in the recap department?

Wedding Wows*

weddingvowsPhoto by Matt Miller

Last week, we (finally) booked our officiant, so of course I’ve had wedding vows on the brain.

I’m on the more traditional wedding vow team for a few reasons:

  1. I’ve always liked the traditional ones. I find comfort in the fact that these words have been said over and over by so many couples throughout the years. It is familiar to most, and gives me comfort. (Even if the divorce rate is ridiculous in this country, leave me alone, I can still use this reasoning).
  2. I think we would be extremely, extremely nervous saying our own vows. I’d feel like a turkey reading them, and I think that the “!!!!!!” of it all would make me forget or stumble over the vows. JP and I both can get a little shy.
  3. I think that using these vows, rather than ones we wrote, might cut down on my waterworks. It is a fact that I will cry like a crazy person on our wedding day. In times of high-emotion, I just start bawling. Not bad crying, just EXTREME EMOTION AAAH crying. We’ll have to get a towel to lay across my chest, or a bucket to hold under my face.

Onwards I went to search for wedding vows. I thought that would be pretty simple. Hmm, what are the ones that I’ve heard a million times at weddings, and the ones they always use at the weddings I’ve been to. Let’s Google “traditional wedding vows.” I started clicking on results, and began to cringe. I’m the sort of OCD-delight that gets really, really bent out of shape if one word is wrong, one phrase is out of place, one syllable is different from something I’m familiar with. Every time I read an “off” one, it was like I was being prodded with a poker.

This, to the best of my brain’s ability, is how I remember the vows going:

I, ______, take thee, _____, to be my lawfully wedded _____, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.

Still, somehow that sounds off. Or not quite right.

I found this one, that sounds… sort of right? I still think my brain version sounds more right, but I could be wrong. It’s happened a few times before.

I, ________, take thee _______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold,
from this day forward, for better – for worse, for richer – for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part,
and thereto I pledge thee my faith. (source)

Ehh.

Then I found this one. As I said before, I’m not a fan of us deviating from the traditional vows, but this is sort of a longer/different version of the traditional vows. I’m just not sure if they’re too cheesy-blaster.

I, (Bride’s Name), take you, (Groom’s Name),
to be my lawfully wedded husband,
secure in the knowledge that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
On this special day,
I (affirm/reaffirm/give) to you
in the presence of God and these witnesses
my pledge to stay by your side as your faithful wife
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
comfort you in times of distress,
encourage you to achieve all of your goals,
laugh with you and cry with you,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I, (Groom’s Name), take you, (Bride’s Name),
to be my lawfully wedded wife,
knowing in my heart that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
On this special day,
I (affirm/reaffirm/give) to you
in the presence of God and these witnesses
my pledge to stay by your side as your faithful husband
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
honour and respect you,
provide for your needs as best I can,
protect you from harm,
comfort you in times of distress,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both shall live. (source)

These longer vows might be a hop, skip, and a jump from writing our own vows, which is/was totally against my original thinking. I am more confused than ever!

What wording do you think of when you think of traditional vows? What did you do for your wedding vows– traditional, halfway-between-traditional-and-self-written, or just write them yourselves? Which one of these vows do you like the best? Or should we scrap them, suck it up, and write our own?

*The title of this post is in reference to a conversation with JP in which he German-accentified “wedding vows” and pronounced them “wedding wows.” In my brain I still enjoy thinking of them as our “wows.” I’m sure he’s horrified that I’m telling this story.

!!!

8monthsleft

Eight months from now, at this very moment, I will be flipping the hell out and be 30 minutes from marrying the love of my life. I will be babbling uncontrollably, grinning like an idiot, trying not to cry, and probably jumping up and down. All the planning will be finished, no last-minute DIYs to do, no last minute line-studying. I’ll hopefully be dressed, though I love to be slow in the dressing department. (Though it will be easier because I already have my outfit picked out…. Or at least the dress part).

Even though there is SO MUCH we need to do at this point in wedding-planning land, thinking forward to the minutes before I walk down the aisle causes a wave of calm to wash over me. My heart swells, my throat knots, and my eyes tear. Suddenly everything is put into perspective, if even just for a few minutes.

Eight months left.

I Like You

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In July, I found this post by Mrs. Candy Corn on Weddingbee. She wrote about about her ceremony reading– excerpts from Sandol Stoddard Warburg’s I Like You. By the end of the post, I was trying not to start boo-hooing. I thought it was perfect, lovely, and fit JP and me perfectly. I added the book to my laundry list of things to get.

I looked for the book everywhere. Nobody had heard of it, and I think they thought I was batnuts crazy, to be honest. Why would I want this little ol’ children’s book written in 1965? I’d end up blabbering on about how fabulous it was, how I couldn’t read through the excerpts I’d read without crying, and other crazy things. I was a woman in love.

I finally got tired of being crazy to the salespeople at the different Borders, so I stopped being lazy and ordered it from amazon. All $6.95 of it. It ended up being some of the best $6.95 I’ve spent. The entire book is even more lovely. I’d love to have the entire thing read, maybe a few things cut for time.

Now, without further ado, and with lots of copyright infringements, I’m sure, here’s the text of the book. I also took some super hot pixxx to go along with it. Enjoy, and if you aren’t crying by the end of it, then, well, you stink.

I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg

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I like you,
And I know why.

I like you because
You are a good person
To like.

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I like you because
When I tell you something special,
You know it’s special,
And you remember it
A long, long time.

You say,
Remember when you told me
Something special?

And both of us remember.

When I think something is important,
You think it’s important too.

We have good ideas.

When I say something funny,
You laugh.
I think I’m funny and
You think I’m funny too.

I like you because
You know where I’m ticklish,
And you don’t tickle me there.
Except
Just a little tiny bit.
Sometimes.

But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too.

You know how to be silly.
That’s why I like you.
Boy are you ever silly.
I never met anybody sillier than me til I met you.

I like you because
You know when it’s time to stop being silly.

Maybe day after tomorrow.
Maybe never.

Oops, too late.
It’s quarter past silly.

We fool around the same way all the time.
Sometimes we don’t say a word.
We snurkle under fences.

We spy secret places.
If I am a goofus on the roofus,
Hollering my head off,
You are one too.

If I pretend I am drowning,
You pretend you are saving me.

If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag,
Then you are getting ready to jump.

That’s because
You really like me.

You really like me,
Don’t you?

And I really like you back.
And you like me back.
And I like you back
And that’s the way we keep going,
Every day.

If you go away, then I go away too.
Or if I stay home,
You send me a postcard.
You don’t just say,
Well, see you around
Sometime.
Bye.

I like you a lot because of that.
If I go away,
I send you a postcard too.

And I like you because
If we go away together,
And if we are in Grand Central Station,
And if I get lost,
Then you are the one that is yelling for me.

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And I like you because
When I am feeling sad,
You don’t always cheer me up right away.
Sometimes it is better to be sad.
You can’t stand the others being so googly and gaggly every single minute.
You want to think about things.
It takes time.

I like you because if I am mad at you,
Then you are mad at me too.
It’s awful when the other person isn’t.
They are so nice and hoo-hoo and you could just about punch them in the nose.

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I like you because if I think I am going to throw up then you are really sorry.
You don’t just pretend you are busy looking at the birdies and all that.
You say, maybe it was something you ate.
You say, the same thing happened to me one time.
And the same thing did.

If you find two four-leaf clovers,
You give me one.
If I find four,
I give you two.
If we only find three,
We keep on looking.
Sometimes we have good luck,
And sometimes we don’t.

If I break my arm and
If you break your arm too,
Then it is fun to have a broken arm
I tell you about mine,
You tell me about yours.
We are both sorry.
We write our names and draw pictures.
We show everybody and they wish they had a broken arm too.

I like you because
I don’t know why, but
Everything that happens
Is nicer with you.

I can’t remember when I didn’t like you.

It must have been lonesome then.

I like you because, because, because…
I forget why I like you,
But I do.
So many reasons.

On the Fourth of July,
I like you because
It’s the Fourth of July.
On the Fifth of July,
I like you too.

If you and I had some drums
And some horns and some horses,
If we had some hats and some
Flags and some fire engines,
We could be a HOLIDAY!
We could be a CELEBRATION!
We could be a WHOLE PARADE!
See what I mean?

Even if it was the nine hundred and ninety-ninth of July,
Even if it was August,
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November,
Even if it was no place particular in January,

I would go on choosing you,
And you would go on choosing me,
Over and over again.

That’s how it would happen every time.
I don’t know why.

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I guess I don’t know why I like you, really.
Why do I like you?

I guess I just like you.

I guess I just like you,

Because I like you.

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All I Want is You

Ever since we’ve been engaged, perhaps even before, I’ve wanted “All I Want is You” by Barry Louis Polisar to be played as we walk down the aisle after we’re married. (Recessional, I think, in fancy-wedding-speak). I just think it’s perfect, magic, and, well, awesome.

Imagine being surprised as a guest as that played at the end of the wedding! Somebody singing the song up front! Instruments popping up (banjo? harmonica?) and playing it! Just fantastic.

We have a little problem though. Our church, on the handout thingy they gave us when we booked the date, clearly states, “No secular music.” Way to rain on my parade. We might be able to get around this, if we beg hard enough, or so I hope.

Has anybody else had the secular/non-secular issue with ceremony music?