Pressing Decisions: Hold Up

Mar. 7, 2010

The one part of the invitation design process that I have loathed is the whole response card mess. It has been the beast that has spurned 1,000 arguments, sleepless hours, and just general angry thoughts in the past week.

Well over a week ago, I thought I was 100% finished with the meat of the invitation design– all I had left to do was decide on ink color and all that jazz. I sent the proofs to my mother and JP for a thorough run-down.

Honestly, I expected four thumbs up, a green light, and much rejoicing. From JP, I got much praise, excitedness, and much pumping-up. It was awesome. From my mother, I got this in response to the fact that there was no specific “number showing up” area:

My response is, how many people know this? I mean, let’s take [names removed to protect the not-so-innocent]. We’ll invite five, but if past history is any indicator, we’ll have at most two.

Now, insert much whining, complaining, moaning, and general not-happiness on my side. I didn’t want to have to re-space the whole dang thing, figure out wording, try not to make it super annoying, and, well, yeah. I wasn’t happy. At all. I told her it was not possible based on the amount of space with which I had to work [not true], that I’d have to re-design the entire suite [not true], and this would be a giant hassle for me [true].What can I say, I was acting a little like a brat.

I let it sit for a few days, determined not to change it. Finally, I got off of my stubborn horse and made one with a “number attending” part, so now we have two options.

Option 1, of course, is the original design. Still my favorite. Option 2, is the [insert grumbling here] number-attending design.

This decision is still up in the air, and I really don’t know what is the best option. So, which way should we go? Option 1, and call the always-failing-members for guest-count confirmation, or option 2? (Though I know people will screw this up somehow. It’s apparently a proven wedding fact. I vote for a book of butchered RSVP cards). How did you all handle this bidness?

Posted in Our Wedding Tags: , , ,

show hide 14 comments

ThaoMarch 7, 2010 - 4:21 pm

So this might just be me and my wedding-ignorance, but I always thought that the M__________ (or in my case, a simple Name(s)_________) line was a place for guests to insert the names of all that are attending. But maybe that's not traditionally the case. I like the first one best, too, but I guess it might be worth it to lessen confusion. And, by the way, I adore your envelopes! Gotham is my go-to font as well.

LaurenMarch 7, 2010 - 4:31 pm

Yeah, it totally is. The problem is that the offending parties will NOT understand what that's for. I think that's also why it's okay to call said people– if they're too clueless to know that, then they won't be offended by a phone call.

Man, I sound like angry bride. :p

QueridaMarch 7, 2010 - 11:37 am

We are doing the *unthinkable* mostly because a large group of our guests will bring their entire household, even if the invite is addressed to Mr. & Mrs.
With the risk of 75+ children showing up and bringing their friends, we settled on a design (not yet finished) that will look something like this:

M ___________

____ invited ( a pretty number stamp will go in this blank)
____ attending
____ regretfully decline

We wanted an actual NUMBER on the card. Some of our guests have never even seen a response card, much less do they understand why it matters. Taboo? Maybe, but it’s going to save my sanity. I know you’ll figure something out – you always do and you rock!

A. MarigoldMarch 7, 2010 - 5:03 pm

I hate rsvps. In my next life, I will include a card that gives instructions on how to fill out an rsvp card.

1. "To fill out the 'M________' on a response card, please list the name of all guests attending. Only invited guests are permitted to attend. To find out if you are invited, please look at the original envelope. Is your BFF's name on the envelope? THEN SHE IS NOT INVITED."

And so on. This would give me great happiness.

LaurenMarch 7, 2010 - 5:12 pm

There needs to be an etiquette primer for guests.

LaurenMarch 7, 2010 - 5:14 pm

That's a pretty good plan. I've heard of some doozies with respect to writing the number in beforehand… some mean jerks CROSS THAT OUT. WTH?!

Hopefully it will work out. :p

JessieMarch 7, 2010 - 6:42 pm

I think maybe instead try _ of out _ will be attending. It may be horrible, but hey, at least it should get the point across. Unless they are one of the 5/4 people that end up being bad with fractions.

BridgetMarch 7, 2010 - 6:44 pm

argh! i had a similar disappointment. slaved over the invitations, got huge thumbs up from my fiance's family, my sister, my friend even shed a tear!! my parents response was "i hate them, no one wants to read that", etc.

ouch.

i have no idea about reply cards. i just had to vent.

KellyVMarch 7, 2010 - 7:56 pm

IF it helps any, our resopnse cards were worded similarly to yours – no "number attending." We figured they could gather HOW MANY were invited, then if they couldnt come, they all checked "Delightfully accepts" but wrote us a note at the bottom saying "only x and y can make it, z will be unable to attend." Nobody said anything about it. =o)

jessica lynnMarch 7, 2010 - 10:02 pm

As someone who recently had her wedding, I HIGHLY suggest the "number attending" line. It will come in handy for those people who just want to put "Mr. SoandSo and family." Trust me, you're probably going to get some strange answers, and having that number there will help in the long run with the final count. The rest of the design looks grand!

ChisaMarch 7, 2010 - 11:42 pm

I'm going to admit to being ignorant – I have NO idea what the 'M_____' is for. Is it for filling in 'Mr X and Miss Y'? I suppose that would be the logical thing. Although maybe the culture with invites is different here in Oz. Or maybe I just haven't been invited to very many weddings.

Anyhoo, I think the first one looks better in terms of design, but the second may save the hassle of confirming with people or surprise guests later?

I think my solution will be to get people to RSVP online. Not as pretty maybe, but it doesn't leave you open to misunderstanding!

FARoutMarch 8, 2010 - 3:53 am

LOLOL! I totally agree.

CourtneyMarch 8, 2010 - 2:55 pm

I actually like the second on. Maybe it's the spacing – it just seems balanced. But that's just me and plenty of people don't like what I do! Either way, you're good!

BecsMarch 8, 2010 - 3:08 pm

I know you don't want to change your design (even though the second one still looks awesome!) but I would reccommend having a spot to write the number of guests. We did not have that spot on ours and most people did not include a guest count. So when we had recieved all the RSVP cards we still had no clue how many people were coming. It totally stressed me out. I think in the long run, you will benefit from including the guest count space.

Good luck!

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