Monthly Archives: March 2010

These are my confessions

Mar. 18, 2010

  1. This video doesn’t really have anything to do with this post, except sometimes I feel like the universe mocks me in such a fashion. You know, with the pointing, the “trololololol”-ing, and creepy ’70s atmosphere.
  2. I was actually going to post a video that made sense– Confessions Pt. 1 by Usher. Ok, so it really only makes sense in the fact that the song has “confessions” in it. I didn’t go floosie around on my love or anything. Work with me hurr, peeps. Ok, I really need to move along to the actual confessions. I’m stalling.
  3. I drank orange juice straight from the carton today.
  4. Crap. Yes, I’m stalling. There is no way to go about this easily, so, ugh, here goes…

True story. Seriously. I’ve been engaged for over a year, am three months out from getting married, and I have no idea. I take the time to WRITE about weddings, for poop’s sake. Ceremony and reception– they both are a total mystery to me. Lawd, children, we’re screwed.

So, um, yeah, obviously that’s not how weddings go. During the ceremony, I know there’s walking, standing up at the front, saying vows, doing the ring thing which apparently is NOT part of the vows, music parts, crying parts, the occasional kneel, reading things, and then poof! Married! Then, everybody goes to the reception, where there’s like, uh, food and stuff? Set up? Then at some point, I don’t know when, there’s that whole first dance thing. Then some toasting? And some dancing? And cake smashing? Then everybody eats cake, and leaves. Truth be told, the only thing I’ve ever paid attention to at weddings is the “When are we going to be able to eat cake?” part. I never paid any mind to what happened when– cake was the grand reward. Way to go, me.

Obviously, I can’t keep avoiding the fact that I have no idea how weddings work. Much to my not delight, we do not have a DOC– there is no one to tell us what to do when. Well, that means that this monkey is on my back. I’ve tried to shake said monkey off by looking up time-lines in one of my 4,000 wedding books or magazines, or on the internets, and it always ends up going one of two ways.

  1. I glaze over. Ugh, this is so boring, when do we get to the cake part?
  2. I have an anxiety attack. Oh Godohgodohgodohgodhoghdohgdohgodoghdohgod. Too much. Can’t do. How does one orchestrate this?! There is no way?! What bride gene am I missing?! The cake part goes where?! Damnit, where’s my Xanax…

Not productive, and this needs to stop. Methods for doing this, you ask? Errr…

  1. Man up, get my head out of the sand, grab a time-line and go.
  2. Outsource this job to a family member. They must be able to manage my micromanaging.
  3. Hire a DOC.

I’m on team three, but I have no idea how to find a DOC ’round hurr, because nobody around here knows what one is. Awesome. And so, the whining continues…

How did you figure out how weddings worked? Did you pay attention to other weddings, read a book, or get some special bride gene? Any words of advice for how we should tackle this monstaaaaar?

Posted in Our Wedding Tags: , , ,

Pressing Decisions: A Loss

Mar. 17, 2010

In my initial letterpress post, I wrote about Boxcar Press, and how they were such a joy to work with. All of my communications were through their Office Manager and Client Coordinator Carrie. She answered every single little crazy question I ever asked, and believe me, there were a whole slew of them. She knew the ins-and-outs of the whole process, and helped me not to feel like such a clueless bird.

Sadly, Carrie passed away on March 13th due to an automobile accident that also claimed the life of her fiancé. You may find more details on Boxcar’s blog, as well as information on the trust set up for her 4-year-old son. My heart goes out to Carrie’s family and the Boxcar Press staff.

Out of respect and concern for their press, I have switched printing companies. My order was not yet “ordered,” as I was waiting on a final quote. This was not because of any slips on Boxcar’s part, and I still am on the Boxcar cheering team like woah, and hope to work with them in the future. I just thought that one less iron in the fire might help lighten the load.

Posted in Our Wedding

This made my night

Mar. 17, 2010

After a mini-crisis (that is now fixed, thanks to some wonderful rescuing), this about made me pee my pants.

Watch Henry and Ballapeno break it down, cry, then repeat.

Posted in Awesome

I can has calligraphy?

Mar. 15, 2010

I know that I’m not the only one that lusts, has lusted, or will lust over fabulous calligraphy. The swirls, curls, swells, hairlines, terminals, and flourishes are enough to do pretty much anyone in. After getting engaged, it was only a matter of time before I would fall for the siren song of calligraphy-adorned envelopes, cards, paper goods, what-have-you. Rather than continuing to yammer on about calligraphy, and blah blah blah, words words words, and obsess, obsess, obsess, I think I’ll just go through the major points in my calligraphy (love) affair.

January 2009

- Not on my radar

February 2009

- Fell into wedding blogs

I probably should just stop here, blame every crazy wedding obsession or idea I’ve ever had on the wedding blog world, and call it a day, but I can’t. Or won’t, rather. Not going to bite the hand that loves and feeds.

Spring 2009

- Found Love, Jenna

Finding this turned me from a normal, non-caring human being into one who had a serious wanting, pining, and needing for beautiful calligraphy. I’d never seen anything like it.

June 2009

- Realized expense

“These people want what for whooowaat?! Oh, heeellllllzzzz to the naw.” I believe I said something remarkably similar to that upon finding out how much calligraphers charged. Little did I know how much time, work, and effort went into the whole calligraphy process. I just thought it was a nice pen and a lot of free time.

- Decided to DIY

- Bought the damned calligraphy markers

- Failed

“Umm, I don’t think these things do what I want them to do.”

“Oh, they do ma’am. You just need years of practice.”

[Insert the extreme want to make some sort of arm/fist motion]

- Gave up

I was choosing my battles, and not going to try to take on something crazy. Tried to use good sense. (Oh, ha ha, ha. Ha).

August 2009-January 2010

- Not on my radar

I gave up, remember?

February 2010

- Found Queen Quills

I think I sent out about 20 emails with the subject line reading “!!!!!!!!!” after I found QQ. Bad, bad, bad. I loved their stuff entirely too much, and it was dangerous.

- Crazy letterpress dream was gonna happen, why not add on calligraphy?

OH YAY! Let’s do calligraphy again! We can find and use someone FABULOUS! Oh, we can do this for only 80 cents more per line…

- Oh wait, expense

Stuff adds up REALLY quickly. For those of you who are still in the early stages of planning, TAKE NOTE. Things get out of control. I’m proof. Anyway, back to the points…

- “I’m an artist. I draw, I should try this.”

Yeah, seeing beautiful calligraphy makes you lose your mind. Remember how up there I failed? I thought I could do it this time? Mind lost.

- Bought an expensive-ish calligraphy pen

…because surely those ten-bucks-a-pop markers were just trying to sabotage me! Those fat jerks! With their mean felt nibs and just… dumbness. Yeah. I was prepared. But just in case, I…

- Did a little IAMPETH research

“DAMNIT. JP, I BOUGHT THE WRONG KIND OF PEN.”

“What? Why is there yelling? What’s wrong?”

“Pen. Need. Oblique. Hate. This. Why. Doing. Am. I?”

“…?”

- Gave up again

March 2010

- Bought nib-holder and nibs in a moment of weakness at the art store

I practically live at Binders and Sam Flax, so this was inevitable. I just couldn’t help myself. I came home, played, and, well, there is good news and bad news.

The good news is that I didn’t totally fail! After about a half-hour of piddling, things were starting to look a little legit. After two weeks of playing, I’ve improved a crazy-lot. I’m not a pro by any stretch, but I’m do-able. Or whatever.

The bad news is that instead of hiring one of the many talented and much-more-capable calligraphers out there, I am doing it myself. For real. No go-back-sies this time. I blame peer pressure. (Mom? JP? Colleen? Do you hear me?)

So yes, this is where we stand…

Blob.

Spray. Forgot to re-dip.

Present, March 15, 2010

- I’m crazy and a masochist. And doing all of our calligraphy.

Did anyone else ride the roller-coaster-of-love with calligraphy? Are you going to DIY, or are you going to hire someone? Anybody have any inspiring stories about DIY-ing and coming out the other end… alive and well?

Posted in Our Wedding Tags:

We are going to have some…

Mar. 9, 2010

(or so I hope)

Last week, we did the whole picking-a-definite-menu thing with our caterer. In our last meeting which was, ah, like forever ago, we gave him about eleventy-billion ideas and options. I was afraid that all of the ideas we had thrown out would just end up in some giant ramshackle mush of a menu. Thankfully, he made sense of our madness and after a few tweaks, we have ended up with a pretty amazing spread. (I’ll go over logistics and layout later– this is just a noms-time post).

*ahem* Here goes nothin’…

Cocktail Hour Yums

For the cocktail hour, we’ll be having two passed appetizers along with, well, cocktails. (Or cocktail, rather, since we’re doing one cocktail, beer, and wine).

  1. Caprese-Kabobs: This is just what I call ‘em, but they’re something I’ve made about 100,000 times for guests, dinner parties, bringing-stuff-along-to-a-party, etc., and they’ve always been a hit. I love Caprese, because c’mon, what beats cheese, tomatoes, and basil? Nothing. These kabob guys are so handy because you hold them! (Ar har har… I’m so punny). They consist of alternating basil, little buffalo mozzarella balls, and grape tomatoes skewered, then drizzled with balsamic, olive oil, and kosher salt for good measure. Delicious, colorful, and portable.
  2. Shrimp Things: Ok, I don’t know what this is going to be called, but they’ll take big ol’ flat-bottomed Asian soup spoons, put a bit cocktail sauce in the bottom, and top it with a ginormous shrimp. I’ll have to be restrained in order to stop me from shoving 5 of those in my mouth at once.

Dinner Noms

As we had planned, the dinner will be sort-of an It’s-a-Small-World-meets-tapas-style-meets-bar-food-meets-the-dang-mini-food-trend-meets-awesome. Whew, that’s a whole lot of things meeting. This food-orgy will consist of four categories– German, American, Italian, and Chinese-ish. (I say “Chinese-ish” because I doubt it’s very authentic. Let’s think of it more as Chinese take-out, shall we?)

For the German part…

{ This is the later-mentioned currywurst // source }

  1. Brats mit Brötchen: Contrary to how Johnsonville commercials show brats, they are not traditionally served in white-bread hot dog buns, but instead with little hard rolls. Brats are much more delicious this way, trust me. Also, I hope to have some curry powder in a salt shaker so that I might be able to hit up some currywurst. (Curry powder+ ketchup+ brat= !!!! in your mouf. Try it).
  2. White Asparagus: Spargel. Delicious. Pretty big deal in Deutschland.
  3. Big Smushy Pretzels: I don’t know how many times JP asked for these guys, but it has paid off, because we’re getting ‘em. I’m in it for the yummy carb-factor.

For the US foods…

  1. Cheese Sliders: If I have time to eat, I hope I’ll be able to shove a few of these down. I am a sucker for a tiny burger, and especially one with CHEESE. (True story: This also makes me sing the “Cheesy Blasters” jingle over and over in my head, hence the video).
  2. A More Dressed-Up Potato Salad: I call this “more-dressed up” because I requested we nixed the mayo-smushed-egg-based potato salad. I’m not really a fan of mayonnaise-based salads, especially in the summer. This will be a vinaigrette-based salad with red skin potatoes. Yummsky.
  3. Fruit: I really wanted this because 1- I’m boring and 2- I wanted it, and it got lumped into this category. At present, it looks like we’ll be having strawberries, honeydew, grapes, watermelon, and pineapple segregated from the rest of the colony, as JP detests it. (I adore fresh pineapple, so pfft).
  4. I think I’m forgetting one more thing here. We’ll just leave this as a mystery for now.

For the Italian section…

{ source }

  1. Bruschetta: This was a natural because we adore it, and I make the best bruschetta on the planet. True story. We always anxiously await good-tomato-season so that we can bathe in this stuff. (Ok, not bathe, but eat a whole heckuvalot of it). I believe we’re using my recipe? That was supposed to end in a question mark? Because I’m not 100% sure?
  2. Arista: This is Tuscan-style pork tenderloin. It’s stuffed with rosemary, garlic, and deliciousness. We make make it with a beef tenderloin every Christmas, and it’s always the first to go.
  3. Penne in Individual Ramekins: Hola, cheese. Please get in my belly. Individual servings of cheesy pasta goodness? Yes, please.

The Chinese-take-out part-ola…

{ source }

  1. Take-Out Boxes with Fried Rice: Hokay, so, this is a part that I am crazy excited about just on cuteness-factor alone. We’re having Chinese take-out boxes filled up halfway with fried rice, and then peeps will be able to add in the next two things. I did so many excited dances for this.
  2. Veggie Stir-Fry: Broccoli, onions, red peppers, snow peaz, garlic, and magic. For best results, lots should be consumed in the adorable take-out boxes.
  3. Chicken Stir-Fry: Chicken stir-fry, for adding to the other delicious stuff or eating alone.
  4. Fortune Cookies: I’m going to have a whole post devoted to fortune cookies, because they’re one of my thangs. I don’t want to go into to much detail now, but yeah, they are my thang.

Dessert-y Goodness

The only thing in this category is CAKE, because tbh, that’s the only reason I go to weddings. Probably not the only reason, but CAKE is a huge factor. Notice how I have to write it in all-caps– that’s because it’s so exciting. I’m yelling it every time.

  1. Wedding CAKE: White, buttercream, no wet fillings, RAINBOW DOTTED ZOMG INSIDE, crazy sparkles outside. Almondy-vanilla-y goodness. We ordered on the too-much-CAKE side just because I want leftovers. I plan to subsist on sunblock, the horizontal mambo, and copious amounts of CAKE during our honeymoon. (Coincidentally, “cake” was/is our code-word for hay-rolls. So it’s only appropriate that I want lots of CAKE… and cake… during our honeymooning).
  2. Groom’s CAKE: We originally were going to have this in the shape of one of JP’s robots, but then I realized that it would end up looking like a big gray blob. We’re sticking to chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream. Decorationing TBD.

Whew, so there you have our actual food for this wedding that is coming up in, oh, almost 100 days. This thing is happening, people, and it seems like it’s going to be pretty dang delicious.

Who else went with a “To hell with convention!” sort of menu and just did, well, EVERYTHING? Did you go above, beyond, or just plain overboard? What do you think about our spread? Also, please let there be someone who knows the deliciousness of currywurst so I don’t feel like a weirdo out here.

Posted in Food, Our Wedding

Pressing Decisions: Hold Up

Mar. 7, 2010

The one part of the invitation design process that I have loathed is the whole response card mess. It has been the beast that has spurned 1,000 arguments, sleepless hours, and just general angry thoughts in the past week.

Well over a week ago, I thought I was 100% finished with the meat of the invitation design– all I had left to do was decide on ink color and all that jazz. I sent the proofs to my mother and JP for a thorough run-down.

Honestly, I expected four thumbs up, a green light, and much rejoicing. From JP, I got much praise, excitedness, and much pumping-up. It was awesome. From my mother, I got this in response to the fact that there was no specific “number showing up” area:

My response is, how many people know this? I mean, let’s take [names removed to protect the not-so-innocent]. We’ll invite five, but if past history is any indicator, we’ll have at most two.

Now, insert much whining, complaining, moaning, and general not-happiness on my side. I didn’t want to have to re-space the whole dang thing, figure out wording, try not to make it super annoying, and, well, yeah. I wasn’t happy. At all. I told her it was not possible based on the amount of space with which I had to work [not true], that I’d have to re-design the entire suite [not true], and this would be a giant hassle for me [true].What can I say, I was acting a little like a brat.

I let it sit for a few days, determined not to change it. Finally, I got off of my stubborn horse and made one with a “number attending” part, so now we have two options.

Option 1, of course, is the original design. Still my favorite. Option 2, is the [insert grumbling here] number-attending design.

This decision is still up in the air, and I really don’t know what is the best option. So, which way should we go? Option 1, and call the always-failing-members for guest-count confirmation, or option 2? (Though I know people will screw this up somehow. It’s apparently a proven wedding fact. I vote for a book of butchered RSVP cards). How did you all handle this bidness?

Posted in Our Wedding Tags: , , ,

STD Envies: The Win

Mar. 6, 2010

After solving the printer mystery, our envelopes came out like stars. I designed them in InDesign, which has proven to be invaluable in wedding-paper-goods-land. Because I like to make things more difficult, and don’t know what the hell mail merge is, I typed each one by hand. Whatever, I am a total fan of how they came out.

Le front:

Le back:

(In case you were wondering– No, the addresses aren’t strangely aligned. I just cloned out our addresses for whatever reason).

I used my beloved Gotham for the font, and the ever-popular but ever-wonderful king and queen stamps on our yummy recycled kraft paper envelopes. Initially we planned to to use my parents’ embosser for the backs, but at the last minute I decided to attempt printing it, which was quite easy. It was a little risky to try, as we had already printed all of the fronts, but thankfully it worked without butchering any of the envelopes.

After their impromptu mini-photo-shoot, they were off to meet their maker, aka the US Postal Service. I hadn’t expected to experience any separation anxiety, since I wasn’t 100% pleased with the whole deal. Strangely enough, I actually was sad to see them go. Perhaps it was nerves, perhaps it was empty-nest… who knows. I am glad to have this project over and done with, and appropriately nervous and excited to finish our wedding invitations! Onwards and upwards!

How did you address your save-the-dates? Did you stick it to Emily Post and go the non-handwritten way? Were you sad to see them go?

Posted in Our Wedding Tags:

STD Envies: The Fail

Mar. 6, 2010

*Envies is my pet name for envelopes. Deal with it, dears.

Now that I admitted my STD-printing flub, I can move along to a part that I’m actually fairly pleased with– the envelopes. Not to be outdone, the envelopes had to fail a little first.

While printing these bad boys on our super hawt printer, we kept having the problem of ink smears. It wasn’t coming from the text itself, but just random inkjet blotches. We were good little children, and kept re-using the same two test envelopes, which is why you see highlighted and circled blotches. We had to know what was new and what was old fail.

We figured that it had to be one of two things– thickness, or uneven transfer because of the wonky bits on the back of an envie. After running a piece of chipboard through the printer and seeing it print flawlessly, we realized it was the latter. Oh, fail of fails. Were we going to have to ghetto-rig the printer? It seemed so. JP and I devised a plan that would surely end in tears– rubber-cementing the envelopes down to stock, running them through, then detaching them from said stock. Had disaster written all over it.

In order to hopefully save our sanity, I decided to flip through the printer’s manual. Woops, we forgot to check “envelope” in the print settings. We wasted almost two hours trying to go around our elbows to get to our asses, when a simple manual-read would have saved us. We were then able to then print all of our envelopes in about 20 minutes. Such silly children.

Moral of the story?

I know a billion other people had trouble printing their invitation envelopes. What happened with yours? Printer flub, human flub, paper flub, or just bad luck?

Posted in Our Wedding Tags:

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