Wedding Wows*

Photo by Matt Miller

Last week, we (finally) booked our officiant, so of course I’ve had wedding vows on the brain.

I’m on the more traditional wedding vow team for a few reasons:

1. I’ve always liked the traditional ones. I find comfort in the fact that these words have been said over and over by so many couples throughout the years. It is familiar to most, and gives me comfort. (Even if the divorce rate is ridiculous in this country, leave me alone, I can still use this reasoning).
2. I think we would be extremely, extremely nervous saying our own vows. I’d feel like a turkey reading them, and I think that the “!!!!!!” of it all would make me forget or stumble over the vows. JP and I both can get a little shy.
3. I think that using these vows, rather than ones we wrote, might cut down on my waterworks. It is a fact that I will cry like a crazy person on our wedding day. In times of high-emotion, I just start bawling. Not bad crying, just EXTREME EMOTION AAAH crying. We’ll have to get a towel to lay across my chest, or a bucket to hold under my face.

Onwards I went to search for wedding vows. I thought that would be pretty simple. Hmm, what are the ones that I’ve heard a million times at weddings, and the ones they always use at the weddings I’ve been to. Let’s Google “traditional wedding vows.” I started clicking on results, and began to cringe. I’m the sort of OCD-delight that gets really, really bent out of shape if one word is wrong, one phrase is out of place, one syllable is different from something I’m familiar with. Every time I read an “off” one, it was like I was being prodded with a poker.

This, to the best of my brain’s ability, is how I remember the vows going:

I, ______, take thee, _____, to be my lawfully wedded _____, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.

Still, somehow that sounds off. Or not quite right.

I found this one, that sounds… sort of right? I still think my brain version sounds more right, but I could be wrong. It’s happened a few times before.

I, ________, take thee _______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold,
from this day forward, for better – for worse, for richer – for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part,
and thereto I pledge thee my faith. (source)

Ehh.

Then I found this one. As I said before, I’m not a fan of us deviating from the traditional vows, but this is sort of a longer/different version of the traditional vows. I’m just not sure if they’re too cheesy-blaster.

I, (Bride’s Name), take you, (Groom’s Name),
to be my lawfully wedded husband,
secure in the knowledge that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
On this special day,
I (affirm/reaffirm/give) to you
in the presence of God and these witnesses
my pledge to stay by your side as your faithful wife
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
comfort you in times of distress,
encourage you to achieve all of your goals,
laugh with you and cry with you,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I, (Groom’s Name), take you, (Bride’s Name),
to be my lawfully wedded wife,
knowing in my heart that you will be
my constant friend,
my faithful partner in life,
and my one true love.
On this special day,
I (affirm/reaffirm/give) to you
in the presence of God and these witnesses
my pledge to stay by your side as your faithful husband
in sickness and in health,
in joy and in sorrow, as well as
through the good times and the bad.
I promise to love you without reservation,
honour and respect you,
provide for your needs as best I can,
protect you from harm,
comfort you in times of distress,
grow with you in mind and spirit,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as we both shall live. (source)

These longer vows might be a hop, skip, and a jump from writing our own vows, which is/was totally against my original thinking. I am more confused than ever!

What wording do you think of when you think of traditional vows? What did you do for your wedding vows– traditional, halfway-between-traditional-and-self-written, or just write them yourselves? Which one of these vows do you like the best? Or should we scrap them, suck it up, and write our own?

*The title of this post is in reference to a conversation with JP in which he German-accentified “wedding vows” and pronounced them “wedding wows.” In my brain I still enjoy thinking of them as our “wows.” I’m sure he’s horrified that I’m telling this story.