My hunt for German wedding traditions, Part 3

part3

It’s the home stretch…

Wedding Reception Traditions

cup

“A customary toast at the reception in the southern part of Germany is done with a special Brautbecher (bridal cup). The pewter or crystal cup is in the form of a maiden holding above her head a small cup. Both ends of the cup (the bride’s skirt and the top cup) are filled with champagne or wine. The bride and groom drink their first toast from this cup together at the same time signifying their union as one. A fun toast with this cup is called “Who Rules the Nest?” Before the toast, it is announced that whomever finishes first will rule the nest. Obviously the woman, who drinks from the smaller cup, wins!”

Ok, this one is pretty much amazing. I really want to do this one, especially because I would totally get to own JP by drinking out of the mini cup. Four thumbs up.

“The first dance is a waltz and is danced by the bride and groom.”

Um, ok. I wasn’t really even sure if we were going to do anything more than just middle-school swish around. I’m not even sure if I know what a waltz looks like. BRB. Need to figure this out.

………

Ok. I’m back.


There’s no way. Just watching that made me nervous. Maybe as a fun and silly second dance. Sorry guys.

“The Veil Dance is a popular wedding game to play. During the reception, every guest who wants to dance with the bride or groom must pay to do so. This money is for the bride and groom to use for their honeymoon.”

I know a lot of different cultures have a money dance, and I think it’s awesome if used in one of those cultures. However, ‘round these parts, I don’t think people would get it. Sad day. I’d like some extra change to step on people’s toes.

“During the reception, the bride is kidnapped by the [German version of] best man and maid of honor. They take her to a pub and proceed to fill her with champagne until the groom finds her. In order to get her back, he must pay the bar tab.”

I don’t see this ending well. I’d rather not leave the reception that we worked tirelessly on to plan and go get tanked at a hole-in-the-wall bar here. I don’t plan on drinking very much at our wedding because I refuse to be be any more of a hot mess than I already am. I’m a ball of wackadoo when I’m sober, pretty entertaining after two drinks, but anything more “festive” than that is… well, embarrassing.

However, if this tradition included me getting kidnapped and taken to a McDonald’s or somewhere with copious amounts of cake, then I might be game. Om nom nom nom nom.

“To make the first night as difficult as possible, friends of the couple do lots of funny or sometimes cruel things. They fill up the rooms with balloons, hide lots of alarm clocks in the bedroom, take apart the bed, and so on.”

Balloons? Fine. Alarm clocks? Annoying. Bed taken apart? Somebody go’n’ die. There are two possible things that I would like to do on my wedding night. One is sleep, and the other doesn’t necessarily need a bed, but would require sleep afterwards.

Whew! That was a lot of stuff, but maybe it will help anybody trying to add in German traditions to their wedding. Again, I hope I didn’t miss anything. (And if I did, tell, tell, tell!)

Next I should aggregate the southern wedding traditions (and just plain ol’ wedding traditions) that we’re going to use, and which ones we aren’t going to use. Rule-breaking!

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by Lauren

show hide 10 comments

Bridezilla ChinkNovember 13, 2009 - 8:06 am

Hiya!
Great series! The FI is half German and we have the same sentiments as you guys do. I’ll have to sit down and read this thoroughly over the weekend.
But ones I am considering is toasting with the Brautbecher; which I think is awesome bc the cup can also become a heirloom afterward.
Have you looked into the Polterabend custom; it’s basically breaking porcelain to bring luck to the marriage. I thought that might be kinda fun for after the rehearsal dinner!
Or marzipan for favors because Germany is known for it (this one is from another bride’s site bc her FI is German as well).
Good Luck! And thanks for all the tips!

LaurenNovember 13, 2009 - 9:42 am

Mmmm! Marzipan! We both love the Ritter Sport with marzipan. I really would like to do the Polterabend! We’re having our rehearsal dinner at a restaurant, so I wonder where we’ll actually do the breaking! (Or we could just scare everybody at the ‘raunt. lol)

And thanks! Let me know if you find out anything extra that’s awesome. (Especially if it’s from Hessen, because that’s where P’s from!)

CourtneyNovember 13, 2009 - 10:34 am

AHHHHH! So glad you posted about these! I lived in Germany for 4 years as did the FI. Were were military brats, so this is one of the fun things that connects us. My parents are actually still there. My mom actually got me a Brautbecher years ago and I am SO PUMPED to use it! …Along with the gold medal Eis Wein we picked up a few Christmases ago for our toast. Yum Yum!!!

I will definitely be linking to these posts when I finally post on the blog about it.

LaurenNovember 13, 2009 - 12:10 pm

Awesome! I have a lot of German blood in me (but more Norwegian! lol), and I think it’s pretty obvious based on my height and other stuffs. I remember my dad teaching me to count in German when I was itty bitty.

My father is in Germany frequently for business, so perhaps he should pick us up something for the toast too!

mismikadoNovember 13, 2009 - 1:18 pm

That Bridal cup is uber pretty! Me like very very much :)

Bridezilla ChinkNovember 13, 2009 - 3:44 pm

I am sooo jealous you guys have a Brautbecher from Germany or a chance at getting one! His cousin was over there for 2 months and I considered asking her to pick us one up but decided against it! Didn’t want to bother her!
That’s so awesome!
I know there are a couple sites that sell it.

Have you find a restaurant for the rehearsal dinner yet? If not maybe find one with a outdoor dining area and speak to the manager when you’re booking and see if they will allow it? =)

Grumpy Old ManNovember 13, 2009 - 10:24 pm

There is no way you can escape the kidnapping, be assured. It is the price to pay if you marry a German. And, for your sake, everyone drinks champagne, so you will not be the only one ‘happy’ :)

Grumpy Old ManNovember 13, 2009 - 10:27 pm

Oh, and I forgot to mention. You missed one very important tradition … lets put it this way, things might appear out of nowhere. Be surprised.

AmandaFebruary 13, 2010 - 3:40 am

I have a cup similar to the one pictured and I was wondering how much it is worth because I am having trouble finding one to match exact. I have no clue what it is made of or where it was made or by whom. If you know please email me and let me know.

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