I hate to break it to you all, but…

There is one, however, that isn’t quite so worthless. In fact, it’s not worthless at all. If I were to recommend ONE wedding planning guide, resource, what-have-you, I would tell you to buy this one:

The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day by Mindy Weiss and Lisbeth Levine

I didn’t buy this book initially because it didn’t look too exciting– it wasn’t hot pink, it didn’t look very fun, I thought it had a fairly cheesy title, and I just judged it by its cover. After buying about every other book on the planet, including every terrible one offered by The Knot, I decided it was time to look at some reviews. This book consistently was reviewed as being the very best. I put aside my book-judging and went out and bought it.

Let me tell you– it is the ONLY wedding book that I’ve used fairly religiously, and it’s the most comprehensive one I’ve found. Not only is it packed with answers to pretty much any question you might have regarding weddings, it also is fairly style-and-level-of-conservativeness-neutral. There is information and etiquette for different levels of strictness. You don’t have to barf because of a cheesy photo of a bride holding your least favorite flowers. You can get your information without having to wade through pages of crap.

Another thing I like about this book is the layout. I tend to glaze over at pages of solid text. Every page of this book has diagrams, examples, little blurb-boxes without stupid questions, tables– you name it. It quells the ADHD monster inside of me, holds my attention, and, well, I pretty much love this sucker.

So yes, if you’re in need of a great wedding book and one whose advice I’d trust implicitly, go buy this book. It is $13.57 on Amazon. Win.

Look forward to next time, where I’ll let you in on which book launched 1,000 panic attacks.

Any other lovers of this book out there? Who else has had problems finding a wedding book that was worth four hoots?

For our honeymoon, all I want to do is sit on my ass for a week, stuff my face, roll around in bed, and be in my comfort zone. I don’t want to worry about wasting money. I don’t want to be nervous because I’m in a new and unfamiliar place. I don’t want to feel guilty for not going sightseeing every day. I don’t want to deal with epic amounts of luggage, flights, taxis, butlers, rat-bastards, or anything of the like.
That is why we will be spending our honeymoon at my parents’ beach house in Seagrove Beach, Florida. Wedding in one house and then off to the other.

1. This house is where we first said, “I love you.”
2. This house is where we got engaged.
3. Four-hour drive from the big house. I’d like to hope that will be a four-hour nap for one of us. (And by one of us, I mean me. Mama di’n't raise no fool).
4. White sand beaches, Gulf of Mexico. Need I say more?

{ source }

5. We know the area like the backs of our hands.
6. Our favorite restaurant ever is here.

{ source }

7.Did I mention food?
8. I’ll be able too cook with good cookware and good knives. I’d go insane without those two things.
9. Hot tub, pool, and 3 stories of amazing all to ourselves? Yes, please. Let’s take a little tour…

The house and view from the top. Pay no mind to the white pool furniture. Long story.

Downstairs guest bedroom, pool room, and bunks.

View of the pool from the pool room.

Second floor great room. My personal favorite spot in the house. Great kitchen to cook in. My father made our dining room table, as well as all the beds in the house. True story.

Our bedroom and bathroom at the house. I fought tooth and nail for those brown walls and that drugstore tile.

View down the staircase from the third floor, third floor sitting room, plus the views from the balcony off said sitting room. Again, ignore that white furniture.

Master bedroom, master balcony, and part of the ginormous bathroom. This is my parents’ room, and we’re debating whether or not to stay up here. Note the cameo of my mother in the shower door. All of these house pictures were by her. Awesome.

So yeah, that’s where we’re spending our honeymoon, and we couldn’t be happier. Relaxed, no annoying travel shit to deal with, and besides all of that, it’s a freaking awesome place to have a honeymoon. Suck it, all-inclusives, with your warmed-over food and your annoying waitstaff. Adios, security check-in at the airport. Goodbye, over-starched hotel sheets.

Is anyone else forgoing a big honeymoon for a more relaxed one? Anybody else taking over their parents’ (or other family member’s) vacation house for the event?

She takes naps on garlic salt.

{ source, source }

For the past month or so, I’d been having doubts about whether or not the Louboutin Love Flats in cork would ever materialize. I could find no evidence of their existence, no nothin’. I’ve been waiting for these puppies since November 8th, sight-unseen, and I began to feel like I was just a dumb bride who got the run-around. I was afraid I was wasting time waiting on shoes that would turn out to be a mythical beast.

This afternoon, much to my delight, I found out that THEY DO EXIST!

(This commercial keeps playing over in my head).

As I was piddling around Google images, I figured I’d see if there was any buzz or new evidence of the shoes ever being released. Went a little something like this…

Piddle, piddle, piddle.

Ew, those are ugly.

Why is that a part of the results for “Louboutin Love Flats?!”

Nasty.

Piddle, piddle, piddle, HOLY SHIT.

ENHANCE!

{ source }

The shoes. They’re real. And they’re AWESOME.

I spazzed out, called Neimans, and quadruple-confirmed that they do exist. My name is on the list, I have a pair coming in for me at the end of February, and I couldn’t be more excited and relieved. I know these probably aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, especially as a wedding shoe, but I think they’re perfect for me– a little kitschy, slightly too much, and fairly unexpected.

So what do you all think of my mythical-shoe-beast-come-true? Would you have given up months ago, or kept on hoping like I did? (Though I must admit, my hoping was at its breaking point).

I decided. I did it. I manned up and made a bridal decree. I grew some bridal balls. I put on my big-girl hat.

Tonight, I officially decided on bridesmaids dresses. Color? Decided. Dress? Official. Much to my surprise, the walls didn’t crumble, the earth didn’t spin off of its axis, and nobody is mad at me. I stopped trying to people-please and just did it. I went with my gut. I’m in a state of shock that I actually made a decision, and I feel so relieved that I can check this off of my list.

This, the Vera Wang Olivia in antique gold.

It’s such a gorgeous dress, and looks fantastic in antique gold. It’s a gorgeous neutral that does beautiful things to skin, and it also will be a perfect backdrop for our super-bright flowers. I really am just in love with this dress, and thrilled that everyone else seems to be really happy with it as well. Truthfully, I think they’re also extra relieved that I picked a damned dress! Now they don’t have to be subjected to my constant “How do you feel about this?” polls. That’s a win in-and-of-itself.

Looking back on my whole body of dress research, the points that I originally made with respect to how I wanted the ladies to be dressed, the things I [thought] I was 100% sure on, I have to laugh at myself a little. Or a lot. If someone had told me a year ago that I would be having bridesmaids in long, gold dresses, I would have almost died laughing. In fact, in an email that I sent out early on in planning, I wrote, and I quote:

No bridesmaids dresses

Nobody in the same dress

No bridal army

Must be short

Must be black, preferably, and not some dumb color

Ahah. Ahaha. AHAHAHAHA. How wrong I was.

Anyway, I’m 100% confident in this choice, and I’m glad to have this decision behind us. Now comes the ASAP ordering, and then we’re off to my next self-imposed crisis.

What do you guys think? Surprised by my choice? How did your final bridesmaids’ dress choice compare to what you originally thought you wanted? Spot on, or waaaay off?

Wedding magazine rehab, that is. Or Wedding Magazine Buyers Anonymous. WMBA.

The first step is admitting I have a problem, right?

In the past 13 months of being engaged, I have bought over 24 magazines. (I don’t know the exact count, because I know there are some stashed away somewhere). For the purpose of this analysis of my crazy, let’s just say I’ve bought 24.

Let’s break it down, cost-wise.

First, dear Martha Stewart Weddings.

1. Issue 48, Spring 2009: $5.95
2. Issue 49, Summer 2009: $5.95
3. Issue 50, Fall 2009: $5.95
4. Issue 51, Winter 2010: $5.95

Grand total for my Martha spending? $23.80 before tax, $25.70 post 8% Georgia sales tax.

Next, InStyle Weddings, which I am actually sad about their closing. I know so much of it is unattainable, but it’s got some great eye-candy in it. But I digress.

1. Spring 2009: $5.99
2. Summer 2009: $5.99
3. Fall 2009: $5.99
4. Winter 2010, their very last issue: $5.99

Grand total for InStyle Weddings? $23.96 pre-tax, $25.88 post-tax.

Next, Brides.

1. July/August 2009: $5.99
2. September/October 2009: $5.99
3. November/December 2009: $5.99
4. January 2010: $5.99
5. February  2010: $5.99

Grand total for Brides magazine? $29.95 pre-tax, $32.35 post-tax.

Now onto Modern Bride, which I really don’t like. I don’t even know why I buy it, I really don’t. It just calls out to me, and before I know it, I’ve had a bridal-blackout and I’m sitting at home with the magazine in my lap wondering how I got home.

1. April/May 2009: $5.99
2. June/July 2009: $5.99
3. August/September 2009: $5.99

Apparently I haven’t bought as many of these as I’ve thought. I think that I might have some of these hidden. Anyway, the grand total for Modern Bride is $17.97 pre-tax, and $19.41 post-tax.

Next, The Knot. [Insert shudder here.]

1. Georgia Issue, Spring/Summer 2009: $4.99
2. Spring/Summer 2009: $9.99 (Holy shit).
3. Fall 2009/Winter 2010: $9.99

Grand total to the man? $24.97 pre-tax, $26.97 post-tax.

Now, Elegant Bride, which is just… bad, in my opinion. I glaze over. I know for sure I have more of these tiny monsters, but truth be told, I’ve probably trashed them. I have 2 in my possession at present, so we’ll just go with that.

1. Spring 2009: $5.99
2. Summer 2009: $5.99

Grand total? $11.98 pre-tax, $12.94 post-tax.

Next, my dear love, Southern Weddings. True, this magazine mainly has stuff that is already on the website, and it’s mostly just eye-candy, but I still love it. Mr. Scissors ordered its premiere issue immediately for me as a surprise, because he knew that I was chomping at the bit for its release. It came in a lovely package, along with a hand-written note by Lara Casey herself. I have no regret for these magazines, only love.

1. Premiere Issue: $5.95
2. Volume II: $5.95

Grand total? $11.90 pre-tax, $12.85 post-tax.

Lastly, a random magazine that I only bought 1 of. Weddings Unveiled. Pretty, but not useful. I still look at some of the design candy in it however.

1. Spring 2009: $4.95

Grand total? $4.95 (obviously) pre-tax, $5.35 post-tax.

So, to date, I have spent a whopping $161.45 on 24 magazines, including tax. I’m speechless, which rarely happens. I don’t even want to get started on the random books I’ve bought…

Why do I buy them? Why am I drawn like a moth to the flame? Maybe it’s because this is one of the only times in my life when it’s socially acceptable to buy these magazines. There’s a “GOING, GOING, GONE!” sign in my head that won’t go away. Also, and it embarrasses me to admit this, I think there’s probably a little part inside of me that craves the validation that buying these magazines gives. LOOK! I’M BUYING THESE BECAUSE I’M WORTH MARRYING! SEE? SOMEBODY LOVES ME. I’m insecure, what can I say. Anyway, that’s enough delving into my fragile psyche for today.

How much have you spent on wedding magazines? Add it all up if you haven’t already, and please share! Was it worth it? Are these necessary objects, a bride’s prerogative? Or are they just a waste of trees and money? Why do give into buying them, or why not?

I spy something awesome.