When I was 9, I started a diary.

I kept this diary from November 10, 1994 until April 5, 1997.

I discovered this kitten-covered gem late one night at my parents’ house with a bridesmaid. We proceeded to read the entire thing, and I’m pretty sure one of us may or may not have peed our pants laughing. It has provided so much mocking fodder that I felt it needed to be shared with the internet. What can I say? I’m a compulsive over-share-er  who has little-to-no shame.

I’m posting each entry with the same exact spelling, same exact punctuation, same exact formatting, and same exact embarrassing, neurotic, and boring bits that I included in the original diary. Some names may be changed to protect the innocent, but other than that? Verbatim.


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